Balancing life as a mom is like trying to juggle with one hand tied behind your back, while standing on a tightrope. Most days, I find myself surviving on coffee, forgetting to eat, and embracing the idea that four hours of sleep is the new normal. It’s a struggle, and I preach the importance of balance to others, but practicing what I preach? That’s a whole different story.
Taking a moment for myself during the chaos of the day is a challenge. Guilt creeps in, whispering that I should be doing something productive or attending to someone else’s needs. Saying no, especially to my kids who yes need me doesn’t mean they can’t do things for themselves. Taking time for me isn’t just hard; it’s practically an Olympic-level challenge. And I know I am not the only mother that feels this way weather you have a child with special needs or not. Why is it so tough? Well, guilt is a persistent companion, fuelled by societies expectations that mothers should be superheroes capable of doing it all without a hint of struggle or need for assistance.
Being a mom to two boys on the autism spectrum adds another layer to this already complex struggle. Balancing society’s unrealistic standards with the daily realities of navigating autism—managing self-help skills, understanding behaviours through data collection, and the delicate dance of home routines. It’s a full-time job on its own. It’s a full-time job with a never-ending list of roles: advocate, employee, business owner, scheduler, nurse, teacher, therapist, nutritionist, detective—the list goes on.
Learning to say no becomes a crucial lesson. It’s acknowledging that, despite the societal pressure to be a do-it-all as a mom, it’s okay to draw the line. And yet, saying yes to ourselves often comes with a side of guilt. We’re bombarded with judgments like, “Your generation is so selfish; it’s all about ‘me, me, me.'” These comments make seeking help even more challenging, fostering a reluctance to admit when we need a breather.
But here’s the thing—despite the guilt, recognizing when to ask for help or take a moment for ourselves is essential. It’s not about abandoning responsibilities but understanding that an empty cup can only run on fumes for so long. Dealing with everyday challenges means knowing when to reach out to a friend, taking a precious five minutes of quiet time, and acknowledging the importance of self-care.
As parents of children with special needs, we emphasize the significance of our kids’ mental health. Yet, we often forget to set that example for them. It’s time to practice what we preach. I’m not suggesting a spontaneous week-long vacation, ignoring responsibilities, but showing our kids that saying no when overwhelmed is acceptable. Understanding our limits is okay, and taking care of ourselves is not just permissible; it’s crucial. Asking for help is a strength, not a weakness, and guilt should not be our constant companion. It’s easier said than done, but it’s a goal worth striving for—a goal I work towards every single day. 😊